Let’s face it, every relationship is flawed in its own ways. Either we accept one another and move forward with it or move on for the sake of our sanity.
Though it may seem like there are only two possibilities or outcomes from your relationships (ie. either they work out or don’t), the fear of making the right choice still prevails. That’s exactly what we’re here to discuss – your second thoughts or should I say, TRUST ISSUES?
An when it comes to trust issues, there’s a lot to declutter as it not only affects your romantic relationships but moments with friends and family too!
They say, you need to love yourself first to love others. The same applies to trust as well.
It all starts within you– you need to trust yourself and your decisions before you can even begin trusting someone else!
So it’s time to acknowledge your minor issues and address them!
Signs you may be experiencing trust issues
1) Say no to feelings and commitment
Are you one of those people that like to keep their relationship under wraps and don’t wish to be seen? Or are you afraid to commit, share and open up to your partner?
If you don’t believe in a fulfilling relationship, signs are that you got trust issues and are not ready to put yourself out there!
2) Overthinking, Assumptions & Conclusions are your BFFS
When your partner is out and is not answering their calls, chances are that you come up with 100 different possibilities on what they could be doing at this hour and out of which 99 of them are the worst possible outcomes. (Why do you do this to yourself?)
If you don’t remember a day without questioning your partners ulterior motives, you’re most likely to have trust issues.
3) Staying away from emotional attachments and people
Once your mind is wired or convinced to not trust anyone, you begin to make socializing and interactions with new people, less of a priority eventually staying away from this idea on the whole. You’re mostly a loner and prefer your own company more!
4) My life is a secret and it’s not your place to be!
Sometimes, we may come across friends or family being shady from time to time. They don’t share much about their lives or what they’re up to and prefer secrecy over privacy. When you find yourself or someone keeping information on their lives as minimalistic as possible, you know it’s coz of their trust issues within.
5) Being possessive and picking fights
Your trust issues can naturally drive you towards worst case scenarios and defences. This could possibly play on loop inside that little head of yours and coming to terms with your thoughts may seem impossible. As a result, you tend to throw that frustration on your partner thereby causing a serious feud.
Why do people have trust issues in general?
Your experiences as a child play a vital role on how you perceive relationships today. If you have been abandoned, betrayed, assaulted, or harmed as a child, you’re more prone to develop trust issues in general.
In such cases people tend to adapt towards insecure attachment styles and not be emotionally available in their relationships.
There’s another possibility where people say have had their trust broken in recent times that forbid them from trusting their current partner or even giving them the benefit of the doubt. Speaking of which, one of the main causes of broken trust is said to be infidelity. Having been cheated on multiple times or your trust broken on several occasions can lead to attachment injuries.
This could perhaps trigger your mind into feeling unsafe in any future relationships or even the chances of being in one.
Ways to overcome your trust issues
With understanding, patience, faith and willingness to acknowledge your past traumas, you will be able to overcome your problems associated with trust, with these following measures :
1) Take time to evaluate and process your past issues and filter them out from your present
Sometimes, instead of the lessons, we carry the entire experience into the future and relive it in our relationships (Toxic!)
Awareness is the key to any problem and especially the most important factor to process any rejections or betrayal from your past. Once you find the origin of your trust issues, it’s easier to break it down and evaluate ways to handle it better.
2) Take the leap of faith
As ironical as it sounds, you got to start trusting your partner to get past your trust issues! Life is all about trial and error, so make sure to learn from your mistakes in a healthier fashion and work towards building a positive atmosphere with your partner.
Practice calming your mind with meditation or exercise and keep your thoughts in check to avoid any assumptions from brewing.
3) Don’t do it alone
Trust issues can only be solved with your mind set towards it and some rational help from the person you find difficult to trust. Let them know what you’re going through, communicate your insecurities and ask them for advice on how to proceed further.
Trust me, if they really love you and want to make this work, they will !
If none of the above mentioned methods are making you feel better and if you’re someone who needs to do some deep digging to figure out those roots and triggers behind your trust issues, we highly recommend talking to one of our licensed counsellors.
At CareMe Health, we offer personalised plans based on data evaluations on your past traumas and recent experiences. We are here to support and understand your issues and walk with you through this journey!
Do you find this blog helpful? Drop us a feedback or send us an email to firstname.lastname@example.org
This blog was written under the expert guidance and feedback from Ms. Suveetha Vasu, Clinical Psychologist at CareMe Health
Edited and Coordinated by Arathi Nair