How to get over someone you never dated

We have all been there! Unrequited feelings are such a pain especially when you haven’t dated this person! It’s also more difficult to cope with and much worse that an actual breakup. In addition to this, your heartbreak comes with a lot of frustration and there’s no one to blame since only one person was involved in this fantasy relationship…. YOU!

Since we live in a fast-paced world, getting over someone you work with, from the same friend group or see on a regular basis, is usually more traumatizing than it seems. It’s not easy!

We assure you; you are not alone in this journey. So many of us face rejections from time to time and now that you have taken a step to move on for good, you’re certainly on the right path.

Now let’s go through ways to say goodbye to this complicated equation and make your life simpler!

1) Limit contact

It’s important to keep things minimal with the person you possibly have feelings for, especially if it’s a friend or someone you work with. Do not engage in any possible flirting and avoid anything that paves way for the same. However, try not to make things awkward between the two of you and make sure you always keep yourself busy to avoid any form of confrontation.

Remember, your mental health is super important and some good OLD space from your heartbreaker is the key – which means even if you have to cut contact or ghost em’, Do it!

2) Don’t hope for the other person to change how they feel about you

Since they have already turned you down, it’s best not to have any hopes on things to brew in the future. These thoughts will only make you feel more stressed and lonelier. Just take your dignity and close that door coz whoever turned you down, doesn’t deserve your love!

3) Do not re-read texts

I’m sure things were better in the past where your significant other would text you every minute of the day. Now things have changed and so have his priorities. He hardly texts or calls you and your anxiety shoots up massively. There is nothing you can do about it, is there? Then why put yourself through it all over again? The moment has passed and best would be to not let your feelings take the best of you. Instead try to work on your self-controlling strategies and not panic over the situation at hand.
If possible, stay away from their chat window and limit contact as much as possible.

4) Give yourself a good pep talk

The only person who knows what’s best for you yourself is. So why not get the best advice from your gut? Keep reminding yourself that you are amazing as ever and there’s no point in being heartbroken or hung up on someone you never had. If necessary, write down how you have been feeling and why this certain someone isn’t good for your mental wellbeing. Studies suggests writing down can help you figure out things and attain a sense of closure.

After you’re done writing down, tear it up or burn this piece of paper. Whatever makes you feel light!

5) Pamper yourself

When we say treat yourself right, we don’t mean you should get that dessert or that makeover or even shop for instance. All these ideas are amazing, and you can do it if it makes you feel better. But remember, all these are associated with temporary happiness.

What we mean by “pamper” is to take good care of your mental and physical health. Eat well, get enough rest or join that yoga class you’ve always wanted to! What you need is a good and healthy start and there’s no better way than prioritizing your body and it’s needs.

6) Focus on your career

You must have invested ample amount of time on someone who couldn’t care less already! Why not invest that time in something useful – like your profession for instance. Figure out what you want to do and dive into it. Show them what they missed and show yourself enough respect to do much better in life. It’s time to make up for all time you spent procrastinating and fantasizing and take control of your life.

7) Take some time off if needed

We’re humans and sometimes need a break from everything to energize. There’s nothing wrong in taking that mini vacation with your girls or even quitting your job to figure things out for yourself. Allow yourself time to grieve over the loss. Evaluate your emotions by the day and eventually you will realize that these are all lessons to remember and that it’s not worth crying over someone who wasn’t yours to begin with. Try not to force the healing process and take your time with it. Only time will tell.

8) Confide in your friends if needed

Your friends and family are your biggest support system so don’t shy away to take help from them if needed. They always want the best for you and will help fast track your healing process. No matter how deep of a pit you fall into, there will someone to pick you up! Sharing your troubles with such people will make you feel much less devastated than usual. Being transparent is certainly one of the best ways to develop your relationships with your friends and family as they will not only understand what you’re going through but will feel much closer to you. Try to take advantage of this win-win situation and spend more time with them.

9) Stay single for a while

I know many would advice you to get back to dating in terms of reverse psychology but there’s also a relatively high chance for you to catch feelings and feel broken again. Better to be safe than sorry, isn’t it? You’re clearly not ready which is why you’ve made it this far into the blog! So, focus on yourself and stay clear of anyone that excites you for the time being. Dating at this sensitive period would be a temporary cure to loneliness. Instead, try to work on yourself and your independence. It’s important to be able to live by yourself even if someone wakes up and decides they don’t love you anymore. So master independence as much as possible.

10) Seek help

It’s good if you feel better with the above-mentioned tips, but if you need professional help, please reach out to the CareMe Health team! We have a brilliant  team  of  licensed  professionals who are highly  qualified  clinical  psychologists  and psychiatrists, to help you deal with relationship or break up issues!

Book your first session now!

This blog was written under the expert guidance and feedback from Ms Prachi Sharma, Counselling psychologist at CareMe Health

Edited and coordinated by Arathi Nair

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